Jauja, estan en un fred en imdb. Algunos son lo mejor, otros apestan jauj.
Vil y sucio copy paste... obviamente no me voy a poner a ordenar todo para que se vea bonito.sh
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Jack: 'Afternoon Terrorist person would you be so kind as to place your weapon on the floor and kick it over to me....why thank you OH so much.'
George Mason: 'Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of terrorist energy in the Los Angeles area. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.'
Jack: 'Thats a BIG Twinkie.'
President David Palmer: 'F@@k me Jack the *beep* has REALLY hit the fan, makes me wish I was back in Florida for that F@@@@NG primary again!'
Kim: 'I'm just gonna stop running, I mean REALLY what is the point!?' Hello bad guys I'm over HERE.'
Sherry Palmer: 'I am SUCH a duplicitous BITCH.'
President David Palmer: 'Jack your country needs you, so bring you ass on up cochise!'
Jack(Responding): 'Sod that mate, PRISON BREAKS on in a minute, I've heard its the balls!'
Jack: "Oh dont worry, we've got loads of time"
JACK BAUER: "Agent, this car isn't going anywhere until you buckle your seatbelt...safety first!"
Telephone:
Hello, you've reached CTU Los Angeles. To ensure your call is directed to the correct department, please select
1, if you are threatening to attack the US with biological or chemical weapons
2, if you have a nuke, and aren't affraid to use it
3, if you are from Division and require urgent CTU attention. Please note, this line is not permanently manned
4, if you have vital evidence related to a current emergency. Callers should be aware that this line is prone to being cut off unexpectedly
5, if you are the President of the United States and require Jack Bauer
6, if you are the President of the United States and don't require Jack Bauer. Sir, you should be aware that this line usually redirects to Jack Bauer eventually
7, if you are Jack Bauer and require connecting to any other telecommunications device on the planet. We even do tin-can telephones
Or 0 to continue to an operator
The following takes place between,damn my watch has stopped..
Tony: "Jack we need your help, a man is threatening to destroy the world"
Jack "Sorry Tones but The O.C. is about to start!"
"oh, there's a bomb? sure there is....i don't really care...yeaaah"
Jack: "hold on a sec, i gotta tie my shoe"
Jack to Henderson: Serve the public trust. Protect the innocent. Uphold the law.
Henderson: Huh?
Chappelle: Don't worry Tony, I think you're doing a great job running CTU. I'll just stay at Division so I don't get in your way, and you can give me a call if you need anything.
Kim - Its ok dad, i understand your responsibility to your job and country, I would get mad at you and make you feel like *beep* cause you have to do your job...I love you unconditionally dad, do what you gotta do and tell me only if you can.
Anyone: Im starving, brb im gettin food.
jack: "excuse me im gonna use the restroom."
"excuse me, i appear to have some blood juuust here. does anyone have a hanky?"
Anyone: "Could you wait a minute, please, I have to go to the bathroom..."
Jack: "But wait! I can't do that! Isn't that illegal?"
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to be speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense."
Anyone-at-CTU: "Hey! I was just wondering... what's the OVERTIME policy at CTU?"
Jack: Oh my god! You killed ______! You b!"*&%^s!
Chloe: Just... chill, guys. Relax a little.
Jack (being tortured): You expect me to talk?
Villain: No, Mr. Bauer, I expect you to die.
CTU Director: Call Jack Bauer!
Division head; Why???
CTU Director: Because sometimes, s*&^ happens, someone has to deal with it, and who ya gonna call?
Jack: Who are you?!?
Suspect: I'm Batman
Jack, after a large explosion: You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
In season six...
Robo Henderson: "Dead or alive Jack your coming with me"
*Jack trying to scurry away from Robo Henderson
Jack "I killed you! You Can't be alive!"
Jack: "Hey, where's the Bactine?"
Jack: "I want a #7 combo...with a Dr. Pepper, NO ICE DAMNIT!"
BK Worker: "Do you want to King Size that tonight?"
Jack: "DAMNIT! There's no time!....Yes, king size it!
Tony (on speakerphone): "Jack, direct orders from Chappelle....Big Mac Combo with a Diet Coke"
Jack: "I'm sorry Tony, but forget about Chappelle! I've already ordered!"
Chappelle (on speakerphone): "Jack, you have broken every protocol in the book! We do NOT negotiate with Burger King, McDonalds only!"
Jack: Can't I just save the world tommorrow I need a day off.
(Jacks on the phone with Tony)
Tony: yeah Jack.
Jack: Hey Tony it's me. I can't make it into work today. I'm sick. *pretends to cough*
Tony: But Jack what about the terrorist attack on LA today.
Jack: Well, it's not the end of the world Tony. There'll be other attacks. I gotta go, bye.
(hangs up)
Jack: Sucker.
Chloe: Tony whats wrong.
Tony: I don't have a clue what to do now.
"Seeing as it's approaching the hour I suggest we all sit down and lay low for a few minutes. You see, I've noticed that on the hour, every hour, something bad seems to happen to one of us."
Jack : Sometimes you gotta just say *beep* it, it's not my problem!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CTU Director : What do you mean you prevented the (Insert villainous group) from (Insert hideous deed)...I only told you about it half an hour ago.
Jack : It was on my way to the store so, you know, two birds - one stone etc...What you upto tonight? Fancy catching a film. You going to the CTU annual paintball outing this weekend. I got slaughtered last year!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack : So what exactly does protocol mean?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Curtis : Hold the fort Jack, I'm away for a dump.
*Disappears into the restroom with a newspaper*
Curtis : I'd give that 5 minutes before you go in there.
Jack : DAMNIT! We don't have that long!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack : I got you, you son of a bitch!
Curtis : Aww...Now it's your turn to hide...1...2...3...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack : Did you see lost last night?
Chloe : I don't watch that crap, the storylines are too unbeleivable.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack : I've saved sooo much money since I switched to verizon.
Jack: Chloe, I need to go off the radar
Chloe: But why Jack? Do you think CTU has been compromised? Is your life in danger? Are you being tracked? Does someone in the Government have information essential to preventing a terrorist threat, but you have no constitutional authority to torture them?
Jack: No, dammit, I've a dental appointment at 3! Repeat, I have a dental appointment at 3!
BIP... BIP... BIP.... doooodle-oooodle-oooo
Jack to any CTU director - I think I would love to work with a partner, it's getting a little boring running around all by myself.
Chloe - Can someone help me set a new layout for my myspace account, these things are soooo confusing.
Kim - OOHHHH Daddy can you take my boyfriend with you to work today he really likes to be tortured and maimed.
Jack - I'm getting too old for this s**t
It's all about the music...and nothing but!!!
Jack [as he is surrounded by terrorists] - Battle Royale!
---------
Chloe - You're my boy, Edgar!
---------
Jack [to terrorist]- Throw down your weapon and place your hands on your head!
Terrorist - Bak. Derk-derk-Allah. Derka derka, Mohammed Jihad. Haka sherpa-sherpa. Abaka-la.
---------
Jack - Jerk alert!
---------
Audrey - Jack, what was that?
Jack - An explosion of flavor...
"Don't cha wish your girlfriend were hot like me,
Don't cha wish your girlfriend were a freak like me,
Don't cha."
- Jack's iPod, as he drives to confront President Logan
Jack: Hold on I haft to take a break. I've been going all day.
Jack: F@#ck another terrorist attack. God Dammit I'm gonna miss Friends marathon.
Over the intercom at CTU: There has been a security breach in the northwest corridor. All units respond.
Jack: The pizza guy is here!
Jack: Chloe, can you upload that to my PDA?
Chloe: I'm sorry Jack, I don't know how to do that.
Chappelle: Jack has gone rouge, he is no longer under CTU's authority.
Tony: No he hasn't he is in the bathroom.
Jack: Relax everyone, we have lots of time.
Jack: Come on, Chase, start the car and let's go! If we don't get over there now, millions of people will die!
Chase: Sorry Jack, we can't go yet - you haven't got your seatbelt on!
Hey Jack look, one of the other hundreds of CTU workers managed to do something helpful to ending the terrorist plot, despite the fact its always done by us geezers.
Vil y sucio copy paste... obviamente no me voy a poner a ordenar todo para que se vea bonito.sh
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Jack: 'Afternoon Terrorist person would you be so kind as to place your weapon on the floor and kick it over to me....why thank you OH so much.'
George Mason: 'Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of terrorist energy in the Los Angeles area. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.'
Jack: 'Thats a BIG Twinkie.'
President David Palmer: 'F@@k me Jack the *beep* has REALLY hit the fan, makes me wish I was back in Florida for that F@@@@NG primary again!'
Kim: 'I'm just gonna stop running, I mean REALLY what is the point!?' Hello bad guys I'm over HERE.'
Sherry Palmer: 'I am SUCH a duplicitous BITCH.'
President David Palmer: 'Jack your country needs you, so bring you ass on up cochise!'
Jack(Responding): 'Sod that mate, PRISON BREAKS on in a minute, I've heard its the balls!'
Jack: "Oh dont worry, we've got loads of time"
JACK BAUER: "Agent, this car isn't going anywhere until you buckle your seatbelt...safety first!"
Telephone:
Hello, you've reached CTU Los Angeles. To ensure your call is directed to the correct department, please select
1, if you are threatening to attack the US with biological or chemical weapons
2, if you have a nuke, and aren't affraid to use it
3, if you are from Division and require urgent CTU attention. Please note, this line is not permanently manned
4, if you have vital evidence related to a current emergency. Callers should be aware that this line is prone to being cut off unexpectedly
5, if you are the President of the United States and require Jack Bauer
6, if you are the President of the United States and don't require Jack Bauer. Sir, you should be aware that this line usually redirects to Jack Bauer eventually
7, if you are Jack Bauer and require connecting to any other telecommunications device on the planet. We even do tin-can telephones
Or 0 to continue to an operator
The following takes place between,damn my watch has stopped..
Tony: "Jack we need your help, a man is threatening to destroy the world"
Jack "Sorry Tones but The O.C. is about to start!"
"oh, there's a bomb? sure there is....i don't really care...yeaaah"
Jack: "hold on a sec, i gotta tie my shoe"
Jack to Henderson: Serve the public trust. Protect the innocent. Uphold the law.
Henderson: Huh?
Chappelle: Don't worry Tony, I think you're doing a great job running CTU. I'll just stay at Division so I don't get in your way, and you can give me a call if you need anything.
Kim - Its ok dad, i understand your responsibility to your job and country, I would get mad at you and make you feel like *beep* cause you have to do your job...I love you unconditionally dad, do what you gotta do and tell me only if you can.
Anyone: Im starving, brb im gettin food.
jack: "excuse me im gonna use the restroom."
"excuse me, i appear to have some blood juuust here. does anyone have a hanky?"
Anyone: "Could you wait a minute, please, I have to go to the bathroom..."
Jack: "But wait! I can't do that! Isn't that illegal?"
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to be speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense."
Anyone-at-CTU: "Hey! I was just wondering... what's the OVERTIME policy at CTU?"
Jack: Oh my god! You killed ______! You b!"*&%^s!
Chloe: Just... chill, guys. Relax a little.
Jack (being tortured): You expect me to talk?
Villain: No, Mr. Bauer, I expect you to die.
CTU Director: Call Jack Bauer!
Division head; Why???
CTU Director: Because sometimes, s*&^ happens, someone has to deal with it, and who ya gonna call?
Jack: Who are you?!?
Suspect: I'm Batman
Jack, after a large explosion: You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
In season six...
Robo Henderson: "Dead or alive Jack your coming with me"
*Jack trying to scurry away from Robo Henderson
Jack "I killed you! You Can't be alive!"
Jack: "Hey, where's the Bactine?"
Jack: "I want a #7 combo...with a Dr. Pepper, NO ICE DAMNIT!"
BK Worker: "Do you want to King Size that tonight?"
Jack: "DAMNIT! There's no time!....Yes, king size it!
Tony (on speakerphone): "Jack, direct orders from Chappelle....Big Mac Combo with a Diet Coke"
Jack: "I'm sorry Tony, but forget about Chappelle! I've already ordered!"
Chappelle (on speakerphone): "Jack, you have broken every protocol in the book! We do NOT negotiate with Burger King, McDonalds only!"
Jack: Can't I just save the world tommorrow I need a day off.
(Jacks on the phone with Tony)
Tony: yeah Jack.
Jack: Hey Tony it's me. I can't make it into work today. I'm sick. *pretends to cough*
Tony: But Jack what about the terrorist attack on LA today.
Jack: Well, it's not the end of the world Tony. There'll be other attacks. I gotta go, bye.
(hangs up)
Jack: Sucker.
Chloe: Tony whats wrong.
Tony: I don't have a clue what to do now.
"Seeing as it's approaching the hour I suggest we all sit down and lay low for a few minutes. You see, I've noticed that on the hour, every hour, something bad seems to happen to one of us."
Jack : Sometimes you gotta just say *beep* it, it's not my problem!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CTU Director : What do you mean you prevented the (Insert villainous group) from (Insert hideous deed)...I only told you about it half an hour ago.
Jack : It was on my way to the store so, you know, two birds - one stone etc...What you upto tonight? Fancy catching a film. You going to the CTU annual paintball outing this weekend. I got slaughtered last year!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack : So what exactly does protocol mean?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Curtis : Hold the fort Jack, I'm away for a dump.
*Disappears into the restroom with a newspaper*
Curtis : I'd give that 5 minutes before you go in there.
Jack : DAMNIT! We don't have that long!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack : I got you, you son of a bitch!
Curtis : Aww...Now it's your turn to hide...1...2...3...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack : Did you see lost last night?
Chloe : I don't watch that crap, the storylines are too unbeleivable.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack : I've saved sooo much money since I switched to verizon.
Jack: Chloe, I need to go off the radar
Chloe: But why Jack? Do you think CTU has been compromised? Is your life in danger? Are you being tracked? Does someone in the Government have information essential to preventing a terrorist threat, but you have no constitutional authority to torture them?
Jack: No, dammit, I've a dental appointment at 3! Repeat, I have a dental appointment at 3!
BIP... BIP... BIP.... doooodle-oooodle-oooo
Jack to any CTU director - I think I would love to work with a partner, it's getting a little boring running around all by myself.
Chloe - Can someone help me set a new layout for my myspace account, these things are soooo confusing.
Kim - OOHHHH Daddy can you take my boyfriend with you to work today he really likes to be tortured and maimed.
Jack - I'm getting too old for this s**t
It's all about the music...and nothing but!!!
Jack [as he is surrounded by terrorists] - Battle Royale!
---------
Chloe - You're my boy, Edgar!
---------
Jack [to terrorist]- Throw down your weapon and place your hands on your head!
Terrorist - Bak. Derk-derk-Allah. Derka derka, Mohammed Jihad. Haka sherpa-sherpa. Abaka-la.
---------
Jack - Jerk alert!
---------
Audrey - Jack, what was that?
Jack - An explosion of flavor...
"Don't cha wish your girlfriend were hot like me,
Don't cha wish your girlfriend were a freak like me,
Don't cha."
- Jack's iPod, as he drives to confront President Logan
Jack: Hold on I haft to take a break. I've been going all day.
Jack: F@#ck another terrorist attack. God Dammit I'm gonna miss Friends marathon.
Over the intercom at CTU: There has been a security breach in the northwest corridor. All units respond.
Jack: The pizza guy is here!
Jack: Chloe, can you upload that to my PDA?
Chloe: I'm sorry Jack, I don't know how to do that.
Chappelle: Jack has gone rouge, he is no longer under CTU's authority.
Tony: No he hasn't he is in the bathroom.
Jack: Relax everyone, we have lots of time.
Jack: Come on, Chase, start the car and let's go! If we don't get over there now, millions of people will die!
Chase: Sorry Jack, we can't go yet - you haven't got your seatbelt on!
Hey Jack look, one of the other hundreds of CTU workers managed to do something helpful to ending the terrorist plot, despite the fact its always done by us geezers.
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