Chuck Norris facts
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Before Chuck Norris shoots a scene for "Walker, Texas Ranger", he eats two bowls of Cheerios garnished with Cocaine.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris was actually born a triplet. His brothers were death and pain.
Chuck Norris's friends once threw him a surprise birthday party. Unfortunately, when Chuck Norris unexpectedly saw all those people in his house, his mind involuntarily went into "defense/kill" mode. Chuck Norris lost many dear friends that day.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris knows that George W. Bush is lying when he says he is doing everything he can to hunt down Osama bin Laden because Bush has not yet consulted Norris nor the A-team.
God once made a rock so big that not even he could lift it; thus answering the legendary question. Chuck Norris not only lifted this rock, but also karate chopped it so hard that it fragmented and formed the progressive rock group "Yes".
Chuck Norris wrote every single edition of the Choose Your Own Adventure books. He wrote them under pen-names to hide that they are autobiographical.
Chuck Norris occasionally has Missing In Action flashbacks where he's escaping a Vietnam Prison and randomly starts killing Asians with his bare fist because thats the way Chuck rolls. You'll know when it's coming because Asians start flying through the air with random explosions, horrible subtitles will scroll your line of vision, and Chuck will run and hide in your mom's garden, finally stealing your Kia Sportage screaming, "Get in the Chopper" and lines like, "I'm Proud to be a Fucking American" after kicking your little sister in the face.
Comentario