Humor filosófico.

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  • COSO
    .
    • 10-05-2005
    • 1841

    #1

    Humor filosófico.

    Bue, un par de chistes filosóficos,

    si tienen más chistes filosóficos y/o sitios donde haya más chistes filosóficos no sea garcas y posteen. (??)

    Saludos



    **********


    The First Law of Philosophy

    For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.

    The Second Law of Philosophy

    They're both wrong.



    Question: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a philosopher?
    Answer: An offer you can't understand.



    Ambos de http://www.as.miami.edu/phi/jokes.htm (hay más chistes).


    **********


    Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

    De http://www.workjoke.com/projoke70.htm (hay más chistes).


    **********


    Tech Support Nietzsche Style

    When a user is calling in need of help, don't forget that he is a weakling. Only a loser would need to come groveling to you, begging for crumbs of help that may fall from your godlike lips. And he knows that he is a loser in the race of the weak and the strong, that his kind is doomed to extinction. Therefore, show him no mercy. Treat him with the utter contempt that he deserves. It is the law of nature that you should do so.

    Key Phrases:
    • "You aren't very smart, are you?"
    • "I can't believe you call yourself a programmer!"
    • "Our product is obviously too complex and advanced for you. Please desist from using it -- you are soiling it."


    Nevertheless, there may come a time when you actually must help the user, even though he is sucking away your magnificent intellectual vitality with his grotesque shambling confusion. He is a lower form of life and you must make him feel it, lest he take on ambitions of evolving to your level.

    Key Phrases:
    • "Now I will read aloud the section of the manual that you failed to comprehend."
    • "You have ignominiously blundered on line 35, committing an error that a Mongoloid programming an abacus would be ashamed of."
    • "What you've done in your function foo is the coding equivalent of failing to empty your colostomy bag."


    Alas, upon occasion there comes a time when it is obvious that the compiler is at fault. This is no reason to let the user feel superior to anyone, however. The design of a compiler is still far beyond his limited mental capacities. His duty is to worship, not criticize.

    Key Phrases:
    • "The inner workings of the compiler are far beyond your antlike comprehension."
    • "That behavior is described in ANSI specification 21.11.45.7.3.8. You are familiar with that section, I assume..."
    • "Our software can behave in that manner only if it has been corrupted by long exposure to users of your caliber."


    And finally, a user may eventually want you to code something for him, or send him an example. The user has asked something that is against the laws of nature. Such creatures as himself exist to serve you and not you him. Therefore such a request is impossible and against nature, and does not exist, and therefore never happened. Response is not possible.

    De http://www.things.org/~jym/fun/nietz...h-support.html


    **********


    Links con más links a cosas graciosas:

    http://consc.net/phil-humor.html (Compiled by David Chalmers)

    Editado por última vez por COSO; 12-07-2006, 11:24 PM.
  • COSO
    .
    • 10-05-2005
    • 1841

    #2
    Humor gráfico.

    LOOSE PARTS: skepticism in practice




    from The New Yorker: The Wisdom of the East?




    De http://members.aol.com/lshauser/phlcomix.html (hay más humor gráfico).

    Comentario

    • Pendorcho
      Poroto rojo con tos.
      • 21-05-2004
      • 5350

      #3
      Mas alla del burdo humor filosofico (re bardero), lo que mas me asombra es el hecho de que nunca haya visto un user TAN semejante a mi nick en cuanto a su acepcion, extenso uso cotidiano y el concepto pauperrimo que la palabra misma abarca..

      (FAHHHH)

      Comentario

      • COSO
        .
        • 10-05-2005
        • 1841

        #4
        jejejeje

        deberíamos armar un club (??)





        **********



        Philosophical Warning Labels

        Solipsism Warning:

        The consumer should be aware that he or she may be the only entity in
        the universe, and therefore that any perceived defects in product
        quality are the consumer's own fault.


        Determinism Safety Advisory:

        Every citizen be advised that despite the possibility that his or her
        acts are all entirely predetermined by the blind mechanical nature of
        the universe and are therefore unavoidable and inescapable, he or she
        will still incur a legal responsibility and liability for any torts,
        violations, misdemeanors, or felonies he or she commits.


        Non-Universal Ethics Notice:

        Due to the possibility that a common notion of ethics are not
        universally shared by all sentient beings, and that therefore the
        manufacturer may have entirely different concept of "fairness",
        "equity", "honesty", and "integrity" than the consumer, the consumer
        should not expect the product purchased to conform in any way to the
        advertised properties of the product.


        Philosopher-General's Existentialist Tobacco Products Label:

        Warning! this product has been found to cause cancer and emphysema,
        and to lead to increased likelihood of strokes and heart
        disease. However, as the Universe is a soulless waste inhabited by
        unthinking machines it doesn't matter in the least whether you smoke
        or not. Go ahead, light up, it's all the same to me if you live or
        die.


        http://bertc.com/warning_labels.htm (hay más).



        **********



        The World's Shortest Philosophy Books


        The Complete History of Philosophy by Anaximander
        Table of Contents:
        Chapter 1. Thales: "Water is the source of all things"
        Index

        The Complete History of Philosophy (Revised Edition) by Anaximenes
        Table of Contents:
        Chapter 1. Thales: "Water is the source of all things"
        Chapter 2. Anaximander: "The Boundless is the source of all things"
        Index

        Coping with Change by Parmenides

        A Rational Account of the Physical World by Plato

        The Role of Sexual Passion in the Christian Marriage by St. Augustine

        A Complete Inventory of Everything that Exists by Benedict Spinoza
        Complete text:
        1. Substance = God = Nature
        2. Modes of God's Being

        What I Learned from the Noumena by Immanuel Kant

        Hegel for Dummies: Everything in Hegel that Can Be Understood by the Average Person

        Nietzsche's Logic

        Ethical Theory by Jean-Paul Sartre
        Complete text: "You are free, therefore choose-that is to say, invent."

        The Most Important Choices I Made in My Life by B. F. Skinner


        http://www.olemiss.edu/depts/philoso...testBooks.html (hay más)



        **********



        El profesor de filosofía a su auditorio, después de la conferencia: Y si ustedes me han comprendido bien, es que me he explicado mal.


        http://www.rafaelrobles.com/tic/chistes_filosoficos.htm (hay más).

        Comentario

        • Pendorcho
          Poroto rojo con tos.
          • 21-05-2004
          • 5350

          #5
          Philosopher-General's Existentialist Tobacco Products Label:

          Warning! this product has been found to cause cancer and emphysema,
          and to lead to increased likelihood of strokes and heart
          disease. However, as the Universe is a soulless waste inhabited by
          unthinking machines it doesn't matter in the least whether you smoke
          or not. Go ahead, light up, it's all the same to me if you live or
          die.
          JUjauJauajuAU....

          Comentario

          • COSO
            .
            • 10-05-2005
            • 1841

            #6
            Che, no hace falta tener un nick copado para postear acá !



            Pasen aunque sea para putear si les parecen malos...

            Comentario

            • emiii
              lioovienen los ninjasnop
              • 25-10-2003
              • 20380

              #7
              la idea del thread es buena pero creo que ni uno me causó gracia ajaujs =$

              the sniper in the brain...regurgitatingng drain!! inceestuooss and vaneee and many other last nammess

              Comentario

              • Axelito
                estudio sociológico.
                • 25-05-2006
                • 6629

                #8
                che sabes que el chiste del existencialismo yo estoy completamente de acuerdo con eso xD

                a los 20 me vuelvo loco, espero aprovechar hasta entonces
                adios

                Comentario

                • COSO
                  .
                  • 10-05-2005
                  • 1841

                  #9
                  El Roto:



                  Liniers (no podía faltar):

                  Comentario

                  • Piache
                    "..."
                    • 04-03-2005
                    • 4123

                    #10
                    jaj me gustaron los titulos
                    What I Learned from the Noumena by Immanuel Kant
                    Penis wouldn't think twice about ruining your life for a half hour of fun...

                    Comentario

                    • un burro
                      Ahí va el capitán Beto...
                      • 26-06-2003
                      • 3911

                      #11
                      Question: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a philosopher?
                      Answer: An offer you can't understand.


                      Este me pareció realmente muy bueno. El resto me dio como sueño.

                      Comentario

                      • Jack Bruce
                        un chabon de por ahi
                        • 23-06-2005
                        • 735

                        #12
                        The Complete History of Philosophy by Anaximander
                        Table of Contents:
                        Chapter 1. Thales: "Water is the source of all things"
                        Index
                        JAJAJaaja, para mi ese...,tremendo...



                        Ahi va uno mio : Era tan pero tan odiado que en la escuela le decian Spinoza
                        sdmsagdfa


                        les paso un link....es el mejor video que vi en mi vida sniff:

                        paposo89@hotmail.com

                        Comentario

                        • por ende taxiboy ( I am )
                          en penitencia
                          • 14-06-2005
                          • 9295

                          #13
                          Como se dice la vaca no habla en latin?
                          res non verba

                          Como se dice en latin yo pienso en mi jardin?
                          Ego puto in horto meo

                          Cual es la diferencia entre dos gatos siameses iguales?
                          En que uno es un gato siames, y otro es otro gato siames.

                          Es filosofico.

                          Tengo uno en ingles, que no es filosofico, pero que me divierte mucho:
                          What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
                          You can unscrew the bulb

                          Slds.

                          Aguijonmagico.
                          [URL="http://www.aguijonmagico.blogspot.com"][COLOR="#FF8C00"][COLOR="#FF8C00"][FONT=Arial Black][SIZE=4]www.aguijonmagico.blogspot.com[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/URL]

                          Comentario

                          • eldisidente
                            Pichón (flor de picha)
                            • 04-06-2006
                            • 1377

                            #14
                            Lo dijo Aristóteles, lo confirmó Platón,
                            la última gota de meo queda en el pantalón.

                            Comentario

                            • emiii
                              lioovienen los ninjasnop
                              • 25-10-2003
                              • 20380

                              #15
                              con sócrates tiene más sentidoo juajau bueg

                              the sniper in the brain...regurgitatingng drain!! inceestuooss and vaneee and many other last nammess

                              Comentario

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