Chistes nerds decadentes

[Mirabilis]

suscribiendo

[NeoXero]

dios que pagina genial...
aca recopilación de los "mejorcitos":

<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker

#602698 +(13855)- [X]

<death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
<ktp753>ouch.
<death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad


<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao


<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"


<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/


<kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
<SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.
<SpaceRain> STUPID


<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.


<Patrician|Away> what does your robot do, sam
<bovril> it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls

<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language

<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn't be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)


<by> Is there anyway I can tell the world I'm an idiot?
<Seven7> Of course, just type your name, where you live and your confession
<by> Kk
<by> I am Mark Duval of Belgium, and I am an idiot
<by> ?
<by> Now what?
<Seven7> Don't worry. It's done

<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit


<UKDJ|Planet> I swear to god
<UKDJ|Planet> I've just heard a duck tell a joke
<Jock> o...k
<UKDJ|Planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
<UKDJ|Planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
<UKDJ|Planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
<UKDJ|Planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy

<ckx> women ask for it
<ckx> they act all old and mature
<ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
<ckx> and they get all bitchy
<ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"

<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"


<LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder
<LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed
<LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
<LordChewy> "i know dad"
<LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?"
<LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "Cocuments and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
<LordChewy> and he just shut up
<kingKahn> what is it?
<LordChewy> its his porn folder

<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall

* Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT
<Strayed> he shot his girlfriend?


<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
<Celestya> i dont think so
<Mikkel> Wanna go camping?

(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?
(alec_eso): 1, morganj
(morganj): bastard.

<Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
<spitfire> haha mendo
<spitfire> take a screen shot
<spitfire> wait
<spitfire> that made no sense


<kyourek> There was a 23% drop in temperature.
<nappyjallapy> That's almost 25%!
<kyourek> ... That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard.

<BigBurk> God i really cant stand windows me
<Felacio> heh i know. i moved to win2k
* Felacio sucks huge cock
<Felacio> errr ME, not /me

<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

<ohm> damn
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> DAMN
<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> i go like this to her
<ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
<ohm> FUCK

<BombScare> i beat the internet
<BombScare> the end guy is hard

<DigiGnome> Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.
<DigiGnome> I need my socks.

<Quake-Hat> brad, your mom is fine as shit
<Quake-Hat> i think i will masturbate to her while i play with my balls
<bad_brad> brad had to go blow his nose, but thanks for the compliment, i will be calling your mother
<Quake-Hat> Jesus-fucking christ!!!

<DemonEater> wtf
<DemonEater> ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship
<DemonEater> who the hell watches jump rope competiti--- ooh bouncy

<pihlopase> Jesus Saves
<jbroome> pases to moses, SCOOOOORE

<N> which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?
<Joker> Neither.
<Joker> Because it's twelve.

<@Logan> I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.
<@Logan> I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"

[NeoXero]

Doble post ¬¬

[Frostwarrior]

(JHawk111420) Hey whats up, a/s/l?
(Lady Renegade) more than you want, I'm sure
(JHawk111420) ill take that as a challenge ;-)
(Lady Renegade) take it any way you want sweetie
(JHawk111420) k, how old are ya?
(Lady Renegade) probably too old for you, but let's pretend I'm 20
(JHawk111420) k, what do ya look like?
(Lady Renegade) before or after I'm dressed up?
(JHawk111420) both :-D
(Lady Renegade) well......after I'm dressed up, I have long sexy red hair, nails painted red to match the slinky dress I have on, stiletto heels, pouty lips, green eyes, boobs out to here, and a smile that stops
traffic
(JHawk111420) and before your dressed up?
(Lady Renegade) before I'm dressed up, I'm bald and wearing boxers...sometimes my weenie is peeking out
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello ....

[elnenebueno]

No entendi lo de polares.

Porque son polares y se disuelven en agua.





Un ingeniero de Microsoft, uno de Intel y un programador de Linux se encuentran en el baño. El de Microsoft acaba el primero, y a la hora de lavarse las manos lo hace a conciencia, con mucho jabón y agua, y para secarse usa un montón de toallitas de papel, y dice: - Los de Microsoft, lo que hacemos lo hacemos bien. - El ingeniero de Intel, también se lava a conciencia, pero utiliza muy poca agua y muy poco jabón, y para secarse utiliza una esquinita de una toallita de papel. Cuando acaba dice: -Los de Intel, además de hacerlo bien, lo optimizamos al máximo. - El programador de Linux, sin lavarse, mira a los otros dos y dice: -Los de Linux no nos meamos en las manos

[PLASMA]

No entiendo casi ninguno =(

[elnenebueno]

ehh, yo tampoco. Pero le pongo onda y me hago el pija pseudo IQ 150

[MaLe]

Qué nerds

Me gustó el de seno de x juaj
también los de merengue

[ROMPOTODO]

El de elnenebueno

[Simon Freak]

I'm not disorganized. My room has a high entropy.

[Grün]

mjajuaja las charlas y simon freak

[bananas]

Qué nerds

JAJA esta de moda ser nerd? te caben los "nerds"?


JA me re molesta cuando la gente lucra con la nertitud sin tener la mas puta idea de lo que estan hablando.


- This is apparently a true story. It took place just outside of Munich, Germany.
Heisenberg went for a drive and got stopped by a traffic cop. The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am."


- It is said that papers in string theory are published at a rate greater than the speed of light. This, however, is not problematic since no information is being transmitted.



Bah que venga el fake de kkkkkk a copypastear chistes enserio, ni en pedo me pongo a googlear.

[ROMPOTODO]

Che en ingles no vale.

[Mélanie]

Real geeks don't find barriers in language.

[Simon Freak]

aca hay un millon. la mayoria son jodas entre los ingnieros/fisicos/matematicos/biologos .

A farmer is asking an engineer, a physicist and a mathematician to build the most efficient fence around his flock of sheep.

The engineer builds a square fence around the sheep and says "That's the best I can do".

The physicist wraps a fence around the equator and slowly shrinks it until it encounters the first sheep, then says "That's the best I can do".

The mathematician smirks and takes a meter-long length of fence, wraps it around himself and declares triumphantly "I define myself to be outside!"



A physicist and a mathematician were asked to remove two nails, one of them punched all the way into the wall, the other just half-way. The physicist just pulled out the one that was half-way in and then, after toiling some time, managed to pull out the second one. The mathematician started with the one that was all the way in the wall, since it was more interesting. After some considerable time and effort, he managed to get it out. Then he looked at the other one, and uttering the words "This can be simplified to an already solved case" punched it all the way into the wall.

Religion is complex. It has both real and imaginary components.